WHO KNEW?

So, here I sit on a Sunday afternoon.   I ask you, what could make a grown women let loose with the F-bomb?  WHAT could make me lose my bowels mid sentence?  (well, ALMOST lose!)  

I decided to take Luke, the wonder dog, out for his third walk of the day.  We went out the front door and I always look around. Looking in our outside portico to observe the nature of things. Tis the time for nature to enter our safe area.  Luke was ready to forge ahead, but I turned tail and headed inside and called to Doc to call the fire department STAT. Now Doc has a hearing problem. (He can't hear shit) but I have a deep and deliberate voice when called for.   Call the fucking fire department, NOW!    It seems there was a western diamondback rattlesnake in the corner of our outside portico.  I have a keen eye, espeically since our neighbors on both sides have had them in their yards.

I told Doc to open the garage door and inspect the garage.  My one neighbor had a sidewinder in his garage and another rattler in his front yard.  WTF am I still doing in Arizona this time of year?  Well, I am waiting for my one granddaughters birthday. OK, Doc called the fire dept. and they were out here in 5 mintues.  My ONLY regret is that Doc wouldn't go back into the house and get my camera ( P*SSY) so I could take a picture of Scottsdales' finest taking care of my little "problem" I admit that I am a "puss"  but honestly, ya could go thru the garage and get the camera, but NOOOOO!

   They came, they conquered and they left.   Interesting weekend.  Actually interesting week.  My son  and Isabella spent the night on Friday. He got a call that his new home was being broken into. He has an alarm system and it "told" the monitoring people that glass was broken.  Seems that his 3 dogs had charged the glass doors when strangers (burglars) were trying to break in. That was the impetus for the alarm to go off. The police are located just less than a mile. They stopped a truck heading down the road,  detained, searched and questioned the occupants. They found nothing in their truck, knew they were illegals, but it takes 2 hrs for immigration to arrive. They ask the occupants what they were doing in the area and their answer was to look for their "friend" and the sheriffs answer was that the deputy was located at the next door property that was being built and their "friend" was last seen (NOT)  

AND so it goes.  Which is worse, the snake or the burglers?   I don't like either one.  Which one is more deadly?   You tell me!  Seems like the world has gone mad.

All I know is that as an adult I almost lost my bowels on both instances. However, I knew my son and his family were safe at my house. (sans the snake)

This week, I am going to the gun range. I need to get my anger out and pinpoint my anger.  I'll let you know how my aim is.......one thing I know, is that if YOU come into my house without ringing the bell or knocking...............I can close my eyes,  but you can kiss your A$$ goodbye.  It's the wild, wild west!