I hope I don't regret writing this and if I do, I'll delete it later. There's some dark humor in here somewhere at the end of the post.
Today was filled with A.N.T.s. Simply meaning, Another Negative Thought. My brothers continued health issues are always on my mind along with my Mother's ability to cope. We talked the other day and she sounded exhausted. These stories will be saved for another day because it's just surreal and horrible.
I also was thinking about the end of our summer vacation that we took with the Grandkids. When we arrived back in Kansas City, Doc had arranged for transportation from the airport to our home, because of the number of people and the number of bags. It was the hottest day of summer with high humidity. I got Doc in the SUV with all the grandkids and helped the driver with the 10 suitcases and 2 large golf bags. Doc is better with the kids than I am. I yell at them (SHOCK and grasping the pearls) to quiet down and he doesn't. He is their best friend and I am the one who makes them mind their manners. I'm also the one who licks my hand and tries to make their cowlicks go away. Anyway, we all were loaded in the car and I spoke to the driver and asked how he was. He was an older Middle Eastern man and he said, "OK.....so hot!" in broken English. Then he looked at me and thanked me for asking. I noticed he drove so slowly, around 10 miles under the speed limit. Oh well, it's best to be safe, but dang, it was starting to get dangerous with all the cars passing us. He was smacking at his arm and had short little coughs; always looking straight ahead. We were supposed to drop the kids off at their home first, but the thought of rearranging all of those bags in the heat was more than I could take and I told the driver to just make one stop at our home. He said "good!" When we pulled in the driveway, I jumped out to go open the front door and the grandkids followed. I took my suitcase in the bedroom and the next thing I know is I hear Doc yelling, "Call 911, Call 911!" I asked why and he just kept repeating that. I looked in the foyer and found our driver on the floor. I called 911 and asked for assistance. They asked who is this? What is his name? What is his age? All of these questions, I had no answer for. I sent the kids outside to wave the fire trucks and police and the EMT's down. Doc stabilized him as much as possible. He had a bad stroke. After 20 minutes they took him to the hospital. I took the kids home. The driver passed away when he got to the hospital. I didn't tell the kids....they still ask about him. I wonder how his family found out and if they wondered about his last hours. In the back of my head, I thanked the Lord for getting us to our home safely. We could have all been killed.
Also my dear friend has had a terrible and tragic event in her life. I would never talk about it, but my heart aches for her and her husband. Sometimes there are no good answers.
AND so the day went on with no good answers. No sense of justice or understanding life.
What made me turn on television this afternoon was to stop the A.N.T.s. I tuned in to watch The Doctors. It is a show with a panel of Doctors discussing health issues. I've only watched it a couple of times but I found it interesting. They have covered so many issues and I've gained great insight into some health concerns. That is, up until now. The topic of discussion was the changing color of your (female) labia lips. NO KIDDING! (side bar......Mama never told me there would be days like this!) Yes......who knew that as we age our labia lips change color and there is even a friggin color wheel that explains the different colors and how and why the lips change. Good God, it's like the Autumnal leaves changing colors. I couldn't believe it. They even have a dye called pink button so you can dye the damn thing. Trust me, even at my age, the drapes don't match the carpet and the carpet is slightly worn, but the lips............don't even go there. I just couldn't stop laughing. AND NO, I haven't checked my color, but I am convinced it is somewhere between a mauve and a gingersnap.
In the midst of misery comes laughter. Thank you God.....thank you!
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So, there I was sitting at my computer at 4:15 in the morning mulling over and rehashing yesterday's news when the email arrived. It was from my sweet Anne who had just posted in her journal.
I read her remarks and near the bottom of the page I saw the word labia. Being a man about town, I immediately knew she was referring to the well known star formations. Labia Major and Labia Minor.
Unlike Ursa Major (The Big dipper for the hard of understanding), it seems that there were new revelations that my friend wanted to share with me.
Checking with wikipedia, I realized she was referring to different labii and I had to readdress my thoughts.
I must admit that one of my first thoughts was "lips that touch liquor must not touch mine" but that thought was replaced by the thought of creating a new cosmetic company dealing strictly with lipstick and lipliner.
As to the natural color of labii, I must admit that I don't not really know as I always close my eyes while visiting.
I have been given new knowledge that should give me a one-up on my competition. Thank you, my lovely Anne, for enlightening me.
Jimmy
Mauve?
I am sorry for the man who died so suddenly of a stroke, minutes after driving you home. He must have felt the pre-amble to it coming on as he took you along the highway. You were lucky.
I think Home Depot has a color scanner that can mix a can of paint to match your labia lips.
Me dear friend, I'm so sorry about the man who passed away soon after driving you home and the bad news of a close friend. It seems like so much on top of everything else.
Humor definitely does lighten our loads. Icouldn't stop laughing myself. I told Paul and he was like if you never knew about that how did you find out, he saw the computer and he said I don't want to know. By then I was hysterically laughing. The look on his face was priceless.
I can't believe that actually have a dye to change the color. Some things are better left alone. (Hugs)Indigo
I do believe the good laugh you got from that show was just what you needed!
You certainly lead an interesting life, although obviously not always in a good way.
I'm glad you are all safe.
Now I know why women take so long to get dressed
I always figured the first person to weave labia colors and stroke death into a blog post would be Mrs. L.
I stand corrected.
Among other "procedures" one can have in the nether regions, it is called "rejuvenation!" WTF?!
Thank you for the laugh there at the end. I needed that. That was a new one on me.
I'm so sorry for the stress you've been under. I've been thinking of you and your brother and wondering how things were going. I know this is a very hard time for you.
I'm also so sorry for that cab driver and his family. But aren't you glad you spoke so kindly to him? And I am SO glad he got you and Doc and the kids home safely.
You take care and hang in there.
It's pretty incredible how we can do everything possible to keep thoughts and deeds on a positive note, yet trouble can find us!
I see how you manage to get through life's obstacles with that humor and grace of yours, as well as the fine cast of supporting characters you have with you.
It was a great laugh at the end to tie it all in together, so I know it's all good.
thanks for updating :)
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