The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS

It's the ying and the yang......... and it started last night with our nightly walk.  Luke, the wonder dog and I walk many times a day. We have found that as we age, we can't do the distance, but we out do ourselves in the number of times we can walk per day.

  It was warm last night. A balmy 72 degrees and I noticed the lizards are out now. I adore the little ones, although they scare me if the run out in front of me abruptly. I made sure I had a bag for Luke, should the urge hit, as it usually does at night. We rounded the bend and could hear the coyotes in the wash. Knowing we were safe, we forged ahead. I always bring my huge flashlight to spotlight what lies ahead. In Arizona, that is a good idea. One needs good hearing also. I have been fooled before. Once, while picking weeds, I heard the familiar sound of a rattle and the blood drained from my body as I ran into the house. Turns out it was the sprinkler system turning on instead of a rattlesnake.  Better to be safe than sorry, right?

  Now where was I?  OH, so Luke and I are enjoying our nightly walk and I shine the light up in the tree ahead of us. I spot a beautiful owl. Not one of those tiny cutesy things you see, but a big beautiful guy, turning his head back on forth. I say to Luke, "Look, what a beautiful owl!" At that point the owl was highly pissed that I was shining a light in his eyes and he flapped his wings and screeched at me. I screamed, Luke barked, I farted, Luke barked and then I laughed so hard that I wet my pants. Thank God, everybody in my neighborhood goes to bed early and is deaf AND thank God, I didn't need to use Luke's bag!

   I don't like to admit that I have been known to pass wind and certainly not publicly in a blog. I mean, I know some people (loved ones in fact) that make it an art form. I try not to do it, but it just happened. I am just disgusted at myself for even mentioning it.

  When I woke up this morning, I was sporting a big ole zit, a pimple. At 55+ years, I have a pimple?  That IS the good news AND the bad news. It means that I have hormones or is it "whore moans?" I only pray when I get my first social security check I have a big ole zit.  It beats dried up skin and in this Arizona sun, I have seen too many women my age who are all dried up, so to speak. The good news is my husband can fix my zit, the bad news is he isn't here right now.

   The good news is I went to the post office to mail my letter, the bad news is that I left it at home.

   The good news is that I was able to take my friend to the airport; (she has taken me so many times) the bad news was that I had the time all wrong and was VERY late.  The bad news is that I drove like a bat out of hell to pick her up and take her. The good news is that I didn't get a ticket, I didn't have an accident and she got there in time to catch her flight.

   The good news is that after 55+ years, I have learned that I like cheese. The bad news is that who knew it was full of sodium and fat?

   Back to the drawing board.  I shall not shine the light up in the trees tonight.  BTW, spell check doesn't recognize the word fart. So should I have said, "Cut the cheese?"............and just when I learned to like it!