SHE BLEW OUT MY FLIP FLOP

FRIDAY THE 13TH........did not disappoint this year. I was actually in a good mood and felt like I needed to plant some spring flowers. I headed on over the Super Wallmart and was not impressed. They didn't have the plant that I was most interested in. I wanted to get a couple of large fire sticks to place in my wok bowls at the entrance to my courtyard at the front of my house. They are stick, pencil-like green plants with coral red tips. I believe they are more of a succulent (shut up Remo) than a cactus. I didn't find any there but Home Depot was right across the street so I headed off in that direction.
I ended up finding 4 of them and bought them only to return them the next day. Seems as though I found out that they are very dangerous IF you ever have to trim them or break them. They omit a sap that can cause serious injury from severe skin rash to blindness. It just so happens that my house man (no longer a boy) went blind for 3 days and had to go to the hospital because of this plant.
But I digress, as I was exploring the wonderful garden plants of Home Depot, I took my time to enjoy all of the color and different types of plants and pots. In my peripheral vision I noticed a motorized wheel chair coming towards me and I quickly stepped closer to the shelf of plants. She whizzed by me and for a minute I felt great compassion for this women. If you don't know this about me, I'll tell you that for a little less than a year (10 years ago) I was in a wheel chair. It was either be in one and get out or stay at home.....so I chose the chair. It's not an easy decision. After the wheel chair part was over, I wore out 3 Don-Joy walking boots. Those things are HELL. Trust me, it's not an easy way to get around. Thus the compassion for this woman. She was sporting some extra weight but hey, I have a few extra on me too.....so I was not sitting in judgement.
Now some time had passed and it seems like I met this woman at every isle. She was really going fast in that chair. In fact, I didn't realize a person could go that fast in one. She must have an upgraded version. I had the ole one that you actually had to wheel with your own arms.....so I went slowly. Whenever I was at a place that offered the electric ones, I used those.....but never went THAT fast.
Soon enough I felt like a person that was being stalked by a HUGE Africanized bee. I was swatting her away. I even tried going down the grass fertilizer isle and damn if she didn't go down THAT isle. What the hell was happening? She kept it up too, never slowing down once or even making eye contact. SIGH.........OK Anne, just try to calm down after all the poor lady (?) is in a wheelchair. But you know what, I couldn't because there she was again. What's a girl to do? Ok, go to checkout and get the heck out of there and that's what I did.
OK, I got that over with and it was time to head on to the grocery down the street. It is a favorite of mine and I only had to get a few things but not being familiar with the layout of the land, I went up and down every isle. Guess what? To my surprise, she (the big bee) was in that store too. After two isles I couldn't take it anymore. She didn't once scoot over on her jazzy! She was starting to piss me off. OK, Anne, go over to the other end of the store and start at that end and that is what I did. I left my cart for a minute to go around the isle to pick up something I forgot and much to My surprise there she came............hell bent to get something. As she rounded the corner, she reminded me of a long haul truck driver about to go into a jack knife. She continued and buzzed right by me. I drew my size 6 flip flops together and my toes drew straight back. Damn if she didn't sheer off the tip of my left flip flop. I looked down at my toes and the roast beef piggy, along with the the piggy who had none, where up behind bye ball of my foot. Thank God they could do that trick because they would be missing. I yelled out Son of A B..ch. It was a reaction. Know what, she never looked back. Now just who could I complain to? Nobody.......everybody would look at her and feel sorry for her....just like I had initially. So, I headed to the checkout and went home. Enough excitement for the day. Besides, I need to find some new flip flops soon. I hope she isn't there at the shoe department. The headlines won't favor me.