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PROMISING to add an alluring but subtle rosy afterglow to my de'colletage this powder promises a lot. It got me to thinking about my de'colletage and everything connected to it. When I was a younger woman it/they had power and I didn't even know it. Now it seems as though every woman wants the size of their breasts altered. "Their too big, not big enough, bigger on one side than the other".....and so on and so on. Tell me, do men think this way about their private part? Maybe I don't want to know the answer to that.........naw.........men always think with their private part.
Although mine aren't saluting the sun anymore, they aren't typing this entry either. Gravity takes effect on men and women. When does acceptance come into play? I've done my annual visit to the Nordstorms bra lady. I've know some women who have had surgery and I know some women who should have surgery, or at least visit the "bra lady" I mean do men really go to Hooters for the wings?
Do I really expect somebody (anybody really) to walk up and say, "My, what a lovely de'colletage you have!" or nice "ta ta's .........I'll have the wings!" Maybe it's my age. I'm not young and I'm not old, but compliments are few and far between now. I know, I'm at the "tween" age. Not exactly a wonderful place to be, but grateful none the less.
So tonight when I dress to go out to dinner with Doc, I shall put my low cut dress on, powder my de'colletage, put my finest Nordstroms bra on in order to "hoist up the John B. sails" and find a nice restaurant with good lighting, (Note to self: do NOT over powder, as not to look like 2 sunburnt melons.) I'll lean forward and whisper sweet nothings in his good ear, heaving my de'colletage towards him and praying I don't fall off the bar stool, "Notice anything about me?" I shall add, in my sexiest tone. If that powder works, I'm buying stock in the company. I think I should wait until after the first martini. Here's hoping he doesn't start singing "Memories", begging for wings, and counting my liver spots on my finely powdered de'colletage.
Pray for me.......I'm goin' in............................................................If it doesn't work, just call me Mrs. Jones.
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15 comments:
too funny, sweet, and endearing...grins, debra
Lots and lots to comment about here!
"men always think with their private part." - OBJECTION! Sometimes we don't think.
Being a leg man, I go to Hooters for the legs.
"Do I really expect somebody (anybody really) to walk up and say, "My, what a lovely de'colletage you have!" but what if one of us DID?
I think you're a lovely woman. And if you know me, you know that "lovely" is a rave in my book.
Enjoy that dinner, and stay on that stool safely!
Jimmy
I may ask to borrow some of that if I keep gaining weight --- yes, man boobs are developing on your once-skinny pal. :(
Russ
I hope you knock his socks off. If not theres always the old battery operated model : o I used to want a butterfly tattoo you-can-guess where (too lazy to spell it). Feared gravity. I saw a woman in the store tonight, shirt down to her naval, and her cleavage - with tattoo, had followed. But wait, I have the answer. I'll get a tattoo near my shoulder and in a few years gravity should have it just about where I want it! Paulette
Anne
I'm betting you did knock em dead and that you will be looking up the stock symbol for the powder company. Really, now, am I the only guy in the world that goes to Hooters because I like the wings?
Sam
You are just too, too funny!! Okay, so when I was younger I thought I might like a bit of enhancement -- then I realized I would never volunteer to have my body sliced open and foreign objects inserted, risking infection or worse!! Now, I'm so glad I didn't!! LOL. So, how was your evening out?! Fabulous as always, I'm sure!! HUGS, Linda
You have great ta-ta's, Anne! If he didn't respond, take him to a good ophthalmologst. Or maybe the ER, if he didn't notice at all, lol!
xoxo
go gettum Tiger:):):):)
judi
http://judithheartsong.blogspot.com/
Anne, you really had me laughing with this one. You shoulda entered it in the essay contest - - it would be an easy winner. And by the way, men never worry about the size of their "Manhood". Every guy naturally thinks his is the biggest and best.......... Jon (small smile inserted here.....)
"....they aren't typing this entry either." That cracked me up! I hope it was "magic" powder for you. (Let me know if it was!)
Lori
Was this your essay on how to seduce thy husband? Cause I think it would win, hands down. ~ Mary
It is amazing how we have become obsessed with one aspect of of our bodies, no matter how useful(if you have kids and use them.) I do hope your evening went rosily! Margo
Hilarious entry!! I've found that in the pool the de'colletage floats up and looks more like its perky former self. ;o) - Barbara
ROFL! You are always so funny! I love your entries, because I can relate to them so much!!
Hope everything went okay once you "went in for the kill!" lol
Jackie
Hooter's serves food? I'm not much for wings, but I dig their breasts and thighs. Okay, that's a bit obvious. You think the augmentation craze is silly? Wait until they perfect enlargement for men. You'll a rush on second-mortgages that will make the real estate boom look like a lemonade stand. LOL
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